Hershey's factory of evil

"It's just like Willie Wonka, but no Oompa Loompas!"



Ah! The life of a Hershey Kiss, flowing wistfully along the factory being wrapped up in foil and even given a little ribbon to fly like a flag as if to say "Behold! I am a Hershey Kiss! I am more special than all others" then paraded in front of one's peers and sent out to that big world where dreams are...wait. Why is that small child picking the kiss up and just throwing it casually to his mother where...OH MY GOD! SHE'S EATING HIM! WHY DIDN'T THEY TELL HIM! THE BASTARDS SET THIS UP SO HE WOULD DIE! IT'S A HERSHEY KISS HOLOCAUST AND THEY'RE BEING LED LIKE LAMBS TO THE SLAUGHTER!

...

Now that I've had some time to calm down I would like to point out that this is a type of food marketing whereby the food being eaten is more than happy to be consumed by the customer. Normally this only slightly bothers me when it's animals that are doing the advertisting (for an example look up any barbecue restaurant, about half of the have a pig as a mascot. Look here, here, and here, the last one coming from me typing "barbecue restaurant" into a google image search and picking about the fourth or fifth result) because while we should be thankful for the animals that give us meat I don't necessarily want them to be smiling or taunting me while I'm eating their kin. I guess I'm a moral coward. Anyway the point of this commercial is that its fun to be a Hershey Kiss and thats why we have this fantasy of what it would be like to be a kiss and go through the most awesome factory in the world. Unfortunately we have people in the world like George Orwell, Aldous Huxley and Sylvester Stallone's John Spartan in "Demolition Man" to prove that when society lives in a utopia such as this it usually means that everything actually sucks. It seems a fitting expose of a company whose advertising would lead us to believe that their chocolate product can make music and ice skate.
I think this should serve as a lesson to all food manufacturers. Don't make it look like your food is happy to be eaten. It just creeps out your customers who in their personal lives don't want to be eaten.